Diary of a Dire Wolf

Oh what a week it has been! First of all I discovered an appendage at the far end of my body that just seems to be following me around everywhere. Wherever I go there it is – this fluffy long curly thing that just won't quit. I had my revenge on it on Tuesday when I decided that it would become my latest challenge. Although I became quite dizzy as it had me running around in circles chasing the blooming thing. And every time I managed to clamp my jaws over it I would feel this biting pain shooting up along my back. This thing clearly has an arsenal all of its own. What made the whole situation so much worse was that the humans were of no use whatsoever. I'd end up collapsed in a heap as this Trickster would manage to trip me up over my own legs. I'd bark to tell them I needed help, but if anything they seem to encourage it by giving it a tweak and making it impossible for me not to chase it even more…I'm certain it was just for their amusement. There is some Union I can complain too and I am looking into this. Or at least I will do just after I have managed to bite off the curly end…

The longer I spend with my humans in my home, the more I need them to understand how vulnerable they are– how much they need protecting. There is so much danger out there, so much unknown, I tried to tell them but I am just ignored. Friday was a bad day. The Loud Ringing Sound kept happening and there were strange humans outside, wanting to come in. I would let them know immediately that My Humans and My Home were protected, but they came in any way and I would have to check their smell for alien-animals and assess whether they were Friend or Foe. I have found that this is also quite efficient method of getting treats. The strangers who come in, even the ones that I may have met before, quite often have biscuits and once they sit down they will offer me these treats as a sign of Parlay. I'm no fool. I take these treats and carry on barking at them anyway!
I must admit though, I have found those who smell nicer are those who do not have the alien-animal smell about them and those who rubbed my ears in a massage are really quite welcome to stay. That man who came around once and let me suck on his laces… Oh they were good laces… Full of exotic flavours. Ooo and anyone willing to rub my belly… I am theirs!

Ohh and finally, what an exciting treat – I have discovered… Toes! Frankly, the smellier, sweaty, cheesier the better! Oh my… I give a very good foot licking that rivals any massage. Check out the length of my
tongue! So if you had a hard day and need to feel the stresses and strains worked off your little tootsies then I'm your bitch ;-)